We're brainwashed into being uncomfortable with acknowledging it, and we wouldn't really have the vocabulary for it even if we could see it. Probably the biggest thing I took away from this is how insidious and common this pattern of behavior is, and how we're actually taught to ignore, laugh at, and repeat it. Wow, we are a bunch of jerks! Turns out we are ALL in verbally abusive relationships, even with ourselves! I defy anyone to read the book and then disagree with that statement. But by the end I was just reading it because I was learning so much about humanity as a whole, and understanding dynamics which had always just baffled me. Of course, I first read it to learn how to hopefully deal with a particularly crazy-making person (and because it was only 50 cents at a library sale and then had sat on my shelf for a year). Me - 'I just read an amazing book on Verbally Abusive Relationships! You should totally read this!'įriend - 'Uh, wow, why are you reading a book on that?'įriend - 'And wait, why would I need to read that? I'm not in an abusive relationship!' The sense of clarity, peace, and empowerment that I got from this book has made it, rather awkwardly, one of my new favorite books. It's one of the maybe 10 books that have actually changed the way I look at all of humanity, as well as my own behavior.

It takes so much confusion out of human interactions. This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time! She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior-from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.ĭrawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse-and the abuser. In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse-and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships.

You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.

In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the bestselling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it.

The verbally abusive relationship evans